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When your only tool is a hammer

every job looks like a nail.

The old lady with dementia scratches head to toe, too often until she bleeds. The dermatologist tries every tool in his kit without success to stop the itching. Fidgeting fingers and inability to sit still are known effects of dementia. The cause may be in her head, but dermatologists don’t work inside heads. We will give the psychiatrist a shot.

I am reminded of AMA doctors. Modern MD training focuses on drugs and interactions thereof. Diet, behavior … nada … Skewz me. They matter, probably more than your lovely pharmaceuticals do.

“You have gout. Have this prescription filled.” I fill the prescription, but look it up on the Internet before taking the drug. SMOKES!!! Do you value your liver, kidneys, spleen??? No way am I taking those.
[No sweat, we have drugs and surgeries for those side effects.]

Look up GOUT online.
Make three lists.
1) all agree these foods contribute to gout
2) foods that all agree reduce gout
3) foods that aren’t agreed upon either way – some say YES while others say NO
Eat from list #2 only.
Gout gone in two days, never to return. Resume consumption from lists 1 and 3 in moderation.

The dentist promises I’ll be back within a few weeks to have an infected tooth extraction. He knows nothing about the antibacterial, antimicrobial properties of clove oil and silver gel. I had the tooth removed a couple years later.

The surgeon works beside me lowering heavy 6-foot-square target frames, scoring shots and raising them back up for our shooters at the 200, 300, then 600 yard lines in a CMP match. The year before, my herniated disc laid me flat on my back writing scores for both of our shooters while he serviced both targets.

I mentioned that I had healed. He informed me that was impossible.
“Herniated discs require surgery to repair.”
But Doc, my back doesn’t hurt and I’m working these targets just fine.
“Impossible, herniated discs require surgery to repair.”
Okay, I didn’t have a herniated disc.
“I saw you last year. I know you have a herniated disc.”
You aren’t leaving me many choices.

We had to drop the subject. Something about me did not exist in his world.

Beware the expert with a small tool bag.


P.S. In case you wanted to know, here is my gout food list: