Libertyville Sheriff’s Office

Libertyville Sheriff’s Office, How may I help you?

This is Homeland Security, we need you to detain any illegal aliens you find, for us.

LSO- sure when we get some we will hold them for you.
HLS- do you have any there now?
LSO- nope our jail cell is empty right now.
HLS- you have no one in jail right now?
LSO- yes, that is right, we have no one in our jail.
HLS- ok, we will need a list of all gun owners there.
LSO- ok, do you have a phone directory of Libertyville?
HLS- ah, no
LSO- would you like me to send you one?
HLS- Why would I need a phone directory of Libertyville?
LSO- well, you asked for a list of gun owners and that is the most complete list of people here that has guns.
HLS- WHAT!!!!, why would every one there have a gun?
LSO- for protection.
HLS- for protection? do you have that much crime there?
LSO- no
HLS- then why does everyone have a gun, if there is no crime?
LSO- we have no crime because everyone has a gun.
HLS- but, but what about the gun free zones?
LSO- we do not have any here.
HLS- not even in schools, movie theaters, malls?
LSO- nope.
HLS- you people are crazy!
LSO- thank you, you have a nice day now.
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