Bitterroot Bugle post categories

Global Skywatch

smart toilets and backup plans


There is no apparent end of Big Brother’s interest in your affairs. The super-toxic 5G is coming regardless of scientific and public protests. Total connectivity to everything about us is coming as fast as they can set it up.

And the great masses jump on each offering with blind unbridled enthusiasm.

Smart toilets are rushing into modern homes where people don’t want the complexity of operating that little chrome handle all by themselves.

Oh there are other features, fershur, but one might think twice about where that takes them.

Toto’s newest smart john, the Intelligence Toilet II, is proving that it is more than an ordinary porcelain throne by recording and analyzing important data like weight, BMI, blood pressure, and blood sugar levels.

There’s a “sample catcher” in the bowl that can obtain urine samples. Even by Japanese standards that’s impressive. Yes it has the bidet, the air dryer, and heated seat, but it’s also recording pertinent information.

This information is beamed to your computer via WiFi and can help you, with the guidance of a trained physician, monitor health and provide early detection for some medical conditions. Graphs on your desktop PC will show how your glucose levels have been fluctuating, along with urine temperatures. These trends can help diabetics time insulin shots as well as give insight into hormone levels for women concerned with their menstrual cycles. Trying to have a baby? Not sure when your most likely to conceive? Ask your toilet for help.

Again I remind you that 5G is the connectivity of EVERYTHING. Your smart refrigerator, thermostat, toilet, phone, confuser, and self-tying shoes … okay, not those yet unless you count velcro strap shoes … All these wonderful things that talk to each other and make those tough decisions for you ALSO talk to Big Brother and tell him EVERYTHING about you.

Look at their bragging rights. Your toilet can know your body better than you do and report every bit of it to The Man.

Who could think these are good ideas?

Then there are POWER FAILURES.

The home of the blind-faith-in-their-political-superiors, that is The People’s Republic of California, have announced regular power shut-downs for this coming year. As the smug, left-coast snowflakes rush to buy shiny new smart everythings, their power company shuts them down from time to time.

With our 100-year-old design toilets, a bucket of water dumped in the tank makes it perform exactly as if the power was on. The clever, new “smart ones” won’t do that.

Where will that leave the bright ones?

Oh yeah. With the thousand-year-old design.

Nice move, geniuses.